lifesight.

defy the heart. 

it has its techniques of retribution on your mind, 

your body, your everything. 

defy the heart. 

it leaks poison, burning through 

every part of your body, like 

liquid acid. 

defy the heart. 

it’s like mental suicide. 

defy the heart. 

it’s like eating everything, 

but still not feeling satisfied. 

defy the heart. 

it’s a void that no other pleasure can fill. 

a special void; a void with a specific requirement. 

defy the heart. 

no one wins. 

let it have its way. 

the heart has its reasons that reason does not know. 

Being a human is already tough enough. So much added burden, so much added unknown. Sometimes knowing precisely how you feel and what will happen isn’t exactly the best way. If there was some doubt, some risk, would I have acted? People say “it will be okay.” but I know it won’t. I know exactly where my position is and what the outcome will be. Some say “let go” and “move on” but isn’t there always that part in you that maybe today will be different. Maybe today things will change. Should we let the wheel of chance turn or should we create “chance” in hopes of it tipping in our favour? So many thoughts, so many troubles on a monday night, it’s rough. I relish on solitude because I think, and I enjoy thinking, I enjoy listening to music.

I walk back through the corridors in my sleep, and I see myself purposefully walking pass the room that you’re in. I see myself purposefully bending my path to the other side of campus in hopes of seeing you. I take the courage to say hi and see how’s everything, but don’t I deserve a hi? a glance? an acknowledgement? I feel that you think that I’m a freak, an anomaly that you don’t want to associate with, a stranger…an uncanny one. Why? Have I pushed my luck too far? Have a dislodged the wheel? Things are falling apart. I blame myself. Why? 

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a.